Little girl

Little girl,
with eyes so bright.
You see the world
through neon lights.
You're filled with hope
for the life to come.
I'm sorry to tell you
it's come undone.
I stole your dreams,
crushed them down,
buried your ambitions
in muddy ground.
I slayed your life,
your vision of hope.
I hung it from a noose,
and kept tightening the rope.
How do I say sorry
when words aren't enough?
How do I make it right
when you've already grown up?
All the tears I caused,
All the pain I dealt,
All the lies and reasons,
I told others and myself.
Little girl,
what will you think?
When I tell you who you are,
because of the poison I made you drink.
A string of broken hearts,
a sea of angry faces.
A toxic dose of penance
now leaves me lying naked.
My blood is thick with sadness,
I'm bleeding tears and shame.
But this chaos has been earned,
and so has all this pain.
Little girl,
with eyes so bright.
I truly don't know
if we'll last this Dark Night.
My remorse and contrition
to you, and to all.
If before we emerge
we succumb to the fall.

My Love

I saw you bleeding.
Thick, crimson droplets
dribbled, oozing
down your side.
Disinterested,
I watched you drain,
I said I cared.
You knew I lied.
No blood on me.
Just ecstacy.
Just selfish, vain,
and wild, and free.
That symphony
of tears and pleas
got lost inside
my summer breeze.
Face first now,
in the dirt.
I tripped.
No. I got thrown there.
I taste the blood now,
and all the hurt.
I'm ripped
in pieces, beyond repair.
What's yours is mine,
so I'll do the time.
I want to drown,
inside your blood.
Take me deeper,
and hold me closer.
And tear me down
with you, my love.

On emotions

One summer, I trekked the rocky path up to the local waterfalls on a semi-weekly basis. I was recovering from an intense chapter in my life and the falls had become my only refuge. When visiting them, I found solitude, spiritual clarity, and, most importantly, emotional connection. 

My reflection

"Reflection," summer 2016  

Sometimes, when you paint a picture (or write, compose, dance, etc), the art will reveal to you what it is that needs to be addressed.

Graveyard

Hans Holbein

Graveyard

You put me in the graveyard

Now I'm choking on the dirt.

You put me in your graveyard

So you cannot feel my hurt.

I'm dying slowly, lungs are filling up

with mud and worms and slime.

This heartbreaks lonely, nothing here

to hold me, just the passing time.

And if I lie awake here,

will I see your face before I die?

I know I won't. You said goodbye,

I just feed my soul with pretty lies.

You put me in the graveyard.

Will you watch as I decay?

Because now I'm in your graveyard,

and that's the only way you'll stay.
-Jesaka Leigh